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Setting the Stage For Important Conversations With Kids

As Fathers we need to have strong relationships with our children.  Open and honest conversation is among the best ways to build trust with our kids.  Once in a while we need to have inporantant and sometimes tough conversations with out kids.  This includes:  the birds and the bees, they guy that we don't like our daughter dating, we caught you doing _________, etc.

dad talking to sonBoys and girls do not feel comfortable to openly communicate in the exact same settings, so here are some tips I learned from a wise old man on how to set the stage for these conversations.

Girls are generally more comfortable at home. The hormones that cause stress increase when they leave and decrease when they return home.   The exact opposite is true for boys.  They love being outside of the home and they more stressed when they return home.  The goal is to get them into a setting where they are most likely to open up to you.

Setting the Stage for Girls

Take them to their bedroom and sit them on their bed.  Dad needs to sit on the floor.  This puts you into a submissive position where she feels like she is in control.  She will pour he heart out to you if you are truly listening to what she is saying.  Tip: the more often you do this the better your relationship with your daughters will be.

Setting the Stage for Boys

Don’t ever try to have a serious coming of age conversation with your boys at home.  Take them out of the house to get something to eat, it does not have to be a full meal, but it can be.  We’ve all heard that the best was to a man's heart is through his stomach, and it’s true for boys as well.  Once they have started gobbling down a favorite meal or treat,  you start the conversation. Tip: Don’t make every trip out into a serious talk, weave them into “just because” outings or you'll have boys that will roll their eyes every time you want to take them out.

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One Response to Setting the Stage For Important Conversations With Kids

  1. Jacob Paulsen September 11, 2014 at 4:08 pm #

    Love this insight!

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